From the beginning of time people have used many forms or ways to amuse themselves from gestures in medieval times to us now taking our families places like the circus. This concept of amusement is commonly known as entertainment. By definition entertainment is any activity which provides a diversion or permits people to occupy themselves in their leisure time. There are many methods from which people pull out from to fill that void in their lives like taking up hobbies, for example; stamp collecting. Another way could be to play 3 rounds of golf in the blazing hot sun. Throughout time people have always found ways to keep busy in their leisure time. Entertainment comes in many forms, and during the course of our lives in many levels. Some of the forms of entertainment are dance, music, games, comedy, cinema and theatre, reading, chatting with friend and many more. The activities involved in entertainment vary depends upon the age group.
Some adults use a different form of entertainment to unwind after a long day of work. The history of this form dates back as far as ancient Babylonian times. In the US this style started in carnivals & burlesque theatre in 1896. Regular worker like farmers or even miners would get off and go into town to these parlors, to drink, listen to live music and see ladies giving them a little shimmy then taking it back. Some even went upstairs to continue the party for a fee. A lot of people felt like this form were disrespectful and the participants were going to burn in hell, where some others who didn’t even part take in it say it’s just innocent fun. The form which I’m referring is striptease which is an erotic dance where the performer gradually undresses either partly or completely in a seductive and sexually suggestive manner to entice the viewer. Over time striptease as evolved into a 13 billion dollar industry. In our country that venue that now show striptease on a regular basis in a totally different and are called strip clubs.
I’ve worked in strip clubs where they are also common know as go-go bars or the high-scale ones which are called gentlemen’s clubs for about 10 years now. It was a friend of a friend that brought me to my first one and things just progressed from there. But I can remember the first time I walked into a strip club. It was my sister’s boyfriends;’ sister who took me there, she was a dancer at the time and she invited me to go to work with her one day. The day was a Wednesday, about 8:00 at night when I walked into Alice’s’ Pioneer Pub a gentlemen’s club in Newark, NJ. At first sight I was shocked and amazed at the same time. The bar itself framed a circular pattern around the inside of the club with chairs circling around it as well. The colors of walls were green surrounding a wooden bar. Directly in the center was a catwalk like stage that had two golden poles at each end. This was anew experience for me and the introduction to a whole new world.
Anyhow during this past decade I learned a lot about this type of entertainment both good and bad. What I’ve underlined about it is that this form is all about perception; you see first you must understand the concept, which is to watch or play with females while giving them money. Over time the dimensions of that concept have changed from play to have & pay which is a whole other concept in itself. But before we talk about the now lets first talk about the then. The original concept of a strip club is a place where adults come to watch beautiful women move their body in a sexy & seductive way, while they enjoy good music and partake in great beverage. (Either alcohol or beer) Every establishment operates differently but have core values like each bar pays one to a few dancers to work there stage that’s called a feature in upscale clubs and a booking in other clubs. The females not being paid have to pay the club to work there which is called a tip-in; this can range from $10-$50 depending on the club. Each club has its own rules regarding their “workers” theses consist of dress, hygiene, and basic personal appearance. Meaning a dancer can not work at any club, only the clubs where they meet the requirements concerning their look, personality and performance and that varies from establishment to establishment.
The females in these clubs are called exotic dancers technically but I’ve put these females in sub- categories to fit the level of entertainment you find in the zone. The first one is the ideal name which is an erotic dancer she stays true to the definition she gives a little fantasy and that’s it’s. The second category is the performer she has a lot of tricks & visual stimulating acts and actually commands a crowd but she sometimes does thing that she’s not suppose to do to get the attention. The next category is not a nice one that is a stripper she is a female that only wants to show her body off it’s not about a fantasy or entertainment to her it’s just like bam here I am give me your money and sometimes she does whatever it takes to get it. The last category is that these females are placed in is the worst one , I call these girls UPs’- that stands for undercover prostitute she is the female that wears the uniform of a stripper but never entertains she just solicits sexual favors. Now we can not put the blame for the change of concept in this form of entertainment all on the females some of fault falls on the men also they are the customers.
I’ve composed sub-categories on the customers too they list is a little longer because they dictate the atmosphere of the females. The first type is the regular these men are usually married or very busy professionals that don’t have a lot of time to date so they use these clubs as places to see beautiful women and have a few drinks then they go home either to their family or an empty house. The second type is the flyer he’s usually a man that comes once and blue he spend a lot of money then disappears for a certain period of time. This kind of customer never looks for extra he just respect the original concept of entertainment. The next category of customers is the peeker this guy just drinks he sometimes isn’t even drinking alcohol never tips; he enjoys the lovely women around him but doesn’t contribute to concept of the club he’s in. The last group of customers you will encounter at a strip club is the nastiest they are the perverts these men come into the club with the intention of finding a woman to do extra stuff with, not even considering that that is not what the club is there for. Throughout my time of working in strip clubs I’ve met all these types of people their assistance to the evolution of this type of entertainment is profound and is what I feel is the essence of the change in concept. If they stayed true to the original plan the first idea, maybe there won’t be so much controversy around this venue at all.
There is a lot of argument against this form of entertainment its goes back to the bible toting missionaries of the early days in the parlors and has grown to be the right winged conservatives on Capitol Hill. A few reasons for the opposition for the strip clubs stem form the negative issues you can also find in some of these establishments. One of theses issues is underage dancers; legally a female has to be 18yrs. old to work at a strip club but sometimes you find young high school drop-out with fake ID trying to make a buck. Another issue is drugs, some females fall into this life and it’s really not for them so they start using drugs to cope with what they are doing. Surprisingly drugs are not hard to find in some of these clubs. The biggest issue that happens in some clubs is prostitution there are a lot of UP girls in these bars and they make the environment bad to be in. They are not following the rules and then that reflects on the clubs which is not fair. You that old saying one rotten apple don’t spoil the bunch, but in the strip clubs that apple helps you lose your business and for the bartenders like me you lose your job.
To fully understand the debate we must first know the law. Federal law places strip clubs in two categories either the club is topless or all/fully nude. The first category of topless is where the proprietor is allowed to have the dancers work with their breasts exposed but not their treasure boxes. The females walk around in g-string bottoms. Some states require the females to also wear pasties. (They are bedazzled covers for the nipples) The second category is all/fully nude which is when the proprietor are allowed to have there dancers to work completely nude. Some states subject all nude bars to additional restrictions like no alcohol clause meaning these clubs are not allowed to sell or serve alcohol. Another restriction is the no touch rule. This is really self explanatory but some states adopt this naturally as a way to control the entertainment.
Present-day there is still an on going battle between strip club owner and state officials one example of this struggle is the court case of Barnes vs. Glen Theatre, this case was about two businesses trying to add all nude dancers to there roaster. You see the establishment’s names were the Kitty Kat Inc. which was a strip club and the Glen Theatre Inc which was an adult store the idea was for them to join forces to become one big business adding nude entertainment but the Indiana government tried to ban the business, meaning close the club down. This case went all the way to the US Supreme Court in 1991 were they decided on behalf of the owner saying that a state can’t ban strip clubs because of the first amendment, which includes freedom of expression under the umbrella of freedom of speech.
On the flipside of the argument strip clubs are good places also. They allow adult to use their imaginations. They take couples to places of fantasy when a marriage is becoming stale. They permit undesirable men to feel desirable even if just for a short period of time. It allocates the fantasy union of consenting adults to have a little innocent fun. After all it is entertainment that was the concept for hard working people to be able to go to a place of good music, beautiful women and drinks. Its transition over time is just an outcry of society. But I think they serve a bigger purpose they can prevent some sexual assault. Think about if they were not here just envision all the perverts that are in the clubs out on the loose without a place to go to. Or the peekers, who would they be peeking at without some venue where they can legally peep at consenting lovely women there for their amusement. What would these men be doing? That would be a question we would be asking ourselves, so strip clubs serve a purpose.
Any who today is Saturday and time for me to go to work I still work in one of these strip clubs its not one of the bad ones but it still has the reputation of one. I work from open to close. I deal with every character I’ve talked about previously in this essay. The club I work at uses booking for their paid dancers its five sets of thirty-minutes. The performer does half an hour for the bar and half an hour for themselves. The customers come in many types and I generally enjoy them all. I get to meet new people every weekend as well as connect and form friendships with the repeaters. I can also serve a mean drink so if someday you’re in the area stop in and help you with a hand on tour.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Blog #22 Silk Road
This venue is not one I would strongly recommend for the class. But I would suggest this magazine for young writers. Silk Road is a magazine for the freedom writer, what I mean is that this is a venue for expression of thought. The types of writing you will find here are fiction, non-fiction, poetry, and translation. They also like pieces set in locations. They have a blog and they interview writers and authors too.
History
I couldn’t find that much information on the start of the magazine but I did figure out that it had to start in 2005, because their first issue went out in 2006. The location of this magazine is at the Pacific University in Oregon. This is where they started their commitment to publishing writers from anywhere of any age.
Example of Pieces:
I read three pieces two poems and one essay. The first poem was entitled, “Cinnamon”, it was how a young poet described the spice as he remembered it and what it was used for on this island. After reading it I couldn’t help feeling that there was a hidden meaning of homesick like he was from that island and missing the smell of the spice. The next poem I read was entitled “the Sanguine Earth”, this was about painting a picture of scene someone went through but I really didn’t get it until I read the acknowledgement at the bottom. The last piece I looked at was an essay entitled, “My Last Horse”, this was about this girls love of horses and how they are now unappreciated there a sub-story of a couple who falls in love on the ranch she talking about. Every piece I read gave me a feeling of different points of view but they had one thing in common with my writing which is each writer used symbolism just like me.
Submission guidelines
• You first have to enclose a two paragraph cover letter
• They except Prose entries which include: fiction, non-fiction, and memoirs but they can’t be more than 20 pages long typed double –space at a 12-point font
• If you submit Poetry it should be typed single-spaced and you can’t submit no more than 5 poems
• Also your submission should be in a DOC or RTF file
They accept submissions from August 1st to May 1st
There are two issues put out a year in the spring and the fall
You can submit via online to:
http://www.silkroadreview.org/submissions
Or send it to:
Silk Road Review
Pacific University
UC Box A119
2043 College Way
Forest Grove, Oregon 97116
History
I couldn’t find that much information on the start of the magazine but I did figure out that it had to start in 2005, because their first issue went out in 2006. The location of this magazine is at the Pacific University in Oregon. This is where they started their commitment to publishing writers from anywhere of any age.
Example of Pieces:
I read three pieces two poems and one essay. The first poem was entitled, “Cinnamon”, it was how a young poet described the spice as he remembered it and what it was used for on this island. After reading it I couldn’t help feeling that there was a hidden meaning of homesick like he was from that island and missing the smell of the spice. The next poem I read was entitled “the Sanguine Earth”, this was about painting a picture of scene someone went through but I really didn’t get it until I read the acknowledgement at the bottom. The last piece I looked at was an essay entitled, “My Last Horse”, this was about this girls love of horses and how they are now unappreciated there a sub-story of a couple who falls in love on the ranch she talking about. Every piece I read gave me a feeling of different points of view but they had one thing in common with my writing which is each writer used symbolism just like me.
Submission guidelines
• You first have to enclose a two paragraph cover letter
• They except Prose entries which include: fiction, non-fiction, and memoirs but they can’t be more than 20 pages long typed double –space at a 12-point font
• If you submit Poetry it should be typed single-spaced and you can’t submit no more than 5 poems
• Also your submission should be in a DOC or RTF file
They accept submissions from August 1st to May 1st
There are two issues put out a year in the spring and the fall
You can submit via online to:
http://www.silkroadreview.org/submissions
Or send it to:
Silk Road Review
Pacific University
UC Box A119
2043 College Way
Forest Grove, Oregon 97116
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Blog #21 Technique on Revision
After reading the different techniques on revising your essay it was one category that I felt could best serve the purpose I wanted to do. The technique I gravitated too is the one we used in class which was Revision:Beyond the Frame. We did the first exercise in class and the second exercise got me thinking , it fit right into what I wanted to do with my essay. The second exercise is adding elements to my essay which is what I was doing. Here's a list of the elements I will add in no particular order:
1. introduce my concept better
2. talk more about the reasons for the arguments against the clubs
3. describe how the clubs work
4. add two stories on days I worked my first day, and a special day
1. introduce my concept better
2. talk more about the reasons for the arguments against the clubs
3. describe how the clubs work
4. add two stories on days I worked my first day, and a special day
Blog#20 Which one to choose?
At first when I knew we had to revise either essay 3 or 4, my initial choice was essay #3. Reasons being that I felt that the essay wasn't complete and I wanted to finish my visual concept of my special place. But when I was working on the last essay #4 something that has been a part of my life for long time now I had similar feelings but for this essay the emotions were stronger. Right after I posted the essay I found myself having thoughts of what to do next. I had more ideas, a few new concepts I felt I could touch upon to help the point of the essay clearer. So that's why I am gonna recreate THE ENTERTAIN ZONE. Hopefully the new birth of the essay will fulfill my expectation.
Monday, November 23, 2009
The Entertainment Zone
From the beginning of time people have used many forms or ways to amuse themselves from gestures in medieval times to us now going to the circus. By definition entertainment is any activity which provides a diversion or permits people to occupy themselves in their leisure time. There are many methods from which people extract to fill that spot in their lives like taking up hobbies, for example; stamp collecting. Another way could be to play 3 rounds of golf in the blazing hot sun. We have always found ways to keep busy in a fun manner.
Some adults use a different form of entertainment to unwind after a long day of work. This form dates back as far as ancient Babylonian times. In the US this style started in carnivals & burlesque theatre in 1896. Regular worker like farmers or even miners would get off and go into town to these parlors, to drink, listen to live music and see ladies giving them a little shimmy then taking it back. Some even went upstairs to continue the party for a fee. A lot of people felt like this form were disrespectful and the participants were going to burn in hell, where some others who didn’t even part take in it say it’s just innocent fun. The form which I’m referring is striptease which is an erotic dance where the performer gradually undresses either partly or completely in a seductive and sexually suggestive manner to entice the viewer. Over time striptease as evolved into a 13 billion dollar industry. In our country that venue that now show striptease on a regular basis in a totally different and are called strip clubs.
I’ve worked in strip clubs where they are also common know as go-go bars or the high-scale ones which are called gentlemen’s clubs for about 10 years now. It was a friend of a friend that brought me to my first one and things just progressed from there, anyhow during this past decade I learned a lot about this type of entertainment both good and bad. What I’ve underlined about it is that this form is all about perception; you see first you must understand the concept, which is to watch or play with females while giving them money. Over time the dimensions of that concept have changed from play to have & pay which is a whole other concept in itself.
The females are called exotic dancers technically but I’ve put these females in sub- categories to fit the level of entertainment you find in the zone. The first one is the ideal name which is an erotic dancer she stays true to the definition she gives a little fantasy and that’s it’s. The second category is the performer she has a lot of tricks & visual stimulating acts and actually commands a crowd but she sometimes does thing that she’s not suppose to do to get the attention. The next category is not a nice one that is a stripper she is a female that only wants to show her body off it’s not about a fantasy or entertainment to her it’s just like bam here I am give me your money and sometimes she does whatever it takes to get it. The last category is that these females are placed in is the worst one , I call these girls UPs’- that stands for undercover prostitute she is the female that wears the uniform of a stripper but never entertains she just solicits sexual favors. Now we can not put the blame for the change of concept in this form of entertainment all on the females some of fault falls on the men also they are the customers.
I’ve composed sub-categories on them too they list is a little longer because they dictate the atmosphere of the females. The first type is the regular these men are usually married or very busy professionals that don’t have a lot of time to date so they use these clubs as places to see beautiful women and have a few drinks then they go home either to their family or an empty house. The second type is the flyer he’s usually a man that comes once and blue he spend a lot of money then disappears for a certain period of time. This kind of customer never looks for extra he just respect the original concept of entertainment. The next category of customers is the peeker this guy just drinks he sometimes isn’t even drinking alcohol never tips; he enjoys the lovely women around him but doesn’t contribute to concept of the club he’s in. The last group of customers you will encounter at a strip club is the nastiest they are the perverts these men come into the club with the intention of finding a woman to do extra stuff with, not even considering that that is not what the club is there for. Throughout my time of working in strip clubs I’ve met all these types of people their assistance to the evolution of this type of entertainment is profound and is what I feel is the essence of the change in concept. If they stayed true to the original plan the first idea, maybe there won’t be so much controversy around this venue at all.
There is a lot of argument against this form of entertainment its goes back to the bible toting missionaries of the early days in the parlors and has grown to be the right winged conservatives on Capitol Hill. To fully understand the debate we must first know the law. Federal law places strip clubs in two categories either the club is topless or all/fully nude. The first category of topless is where the proprietor is allowed to have the dancers work with their breasts exposed but not their treasure boxes. The females walk around in g-string bottoms. Some states require the females to also wear pasties. (They are bedazzled covers for the nipples) The second category is all/fully nude which is when the proprietor are allowed to have there dancers to work completely nude. Some states subject all nude bars to additional restrictions like no alcohol clause meaning these clubs are not allowed to sell or serve alcohol. Another restriction is the no touch rule. This is really self explanatory but some states adopt this natural as a way to control the entertainment. Present-day there is still an on going battle between strip club owner and state officials one example of this struggle is the court case of Barnes vs. Glen Theatre, this case was about two businesses trying to add all nude dancers to there roaster. You see the establishment’s names were the Kitty Kat Inc. which was a strip club and the Glen Theatre Inc which was an adult store the idea was for them to join forces to become one big business adding nude entertainment but the Indiana government tried to ban them. This case went all the way to the US Supreme Court in 1991 were they decided on behalf of the owner saying that a state can’t ban strip clubs because of the first amendment, which includes freedom of expression under the umbrella of freedom of speech.
On the flipside of the argument strip clubs are good places also. They allow adult to use their imaginations. They take couples to places of fantasy when a marriage is becoming stale. They permit undesirable men to feel desirable even if just for a short period of time. It allocates the fantasy union of consenting adults to have a little innocent fun. After all it is entertainment that was the concept for hard working people to be able to go to a place of good music, beautiful women and drinks. Its transition over time is just an outcry of society. But I think they serve a bigger purpose they can prevent some sexual assault. Think about if they were not here just envision all the perverts that are in the clubs out on the loose without a place to go to. Or the peekers, where would they be without some venue where they can legally peep at consenting lovely women there for their amusement. What would these men be doing? That would be a question we would be asking ourselves, so strip clubs serve a purpose.
Some adults use a different form of entertainment to unwind after a long day of work. This form dates back as far as ancient Babylonian times. In the US this style started in carnivals & burlesque theatre in 1896. Regular worker like farmers or even miners would get off and go into town to these parlors, to drink, listen to live music and see ladies giving them a little shimmy then taking it back. Some even went upstairs to continue the party for a fee. A lot of people felt like this form were disrespectful and the participants were going to burn in hell, where some others who didn’t even part take in it say it’s just innocent fun. The form which I’m referring is striptease which is an erotic dance where the performer gradually undresses either partly or completely in a seductive and sexually suggestive manner to entice the viewer. Over time striptease as evolved into a 13 billion dollar industry. In our country that venue that now show striptease on a regular basis in a totally different and are called strip clubs.
I’ve worked in strip clubs where they are also common know as go-go bars or the high-scale ones which are called gentlemen’s clubs for about 10 years now. It was a friend of a friend that brought me to my first one and things just progressed from there, anyhow during this past decade I learned a lot about this type of entertainment both good and bad. What I’ve underlined about it is that this form is all about perception; you see first you must understand the concept, which is to watch or play with females while giving them money. Over time the dimensions of that concept have changed from play to have & pay which is a whole other concept in itself.
The females are called exotic dancers technically but I’ve put these females in sub- categories to fit the level of entertainment you find in the zone. The first one is the ideal name which is an erotic dancer she stays true to the definition she gives a little fantasy and that’s it’s. The second category is the performer she has a lot of tricks & visual stimulating acts and actually commands a crowd but she sometimes does thing that she’s not suppose to do to get the attention. The next category is not a nice one that is a stripper she is a female that only wants to show her body off it’s not about a fantasy or entertainment to her it’s just like bam here I am give me your money and sometimes she does whatever it takes to get it. The last category is that these females are placed in is the worst one , I call these girls UPs’- that stands for undercover prostitute she is the female that wears the uniform of a stripper but never entertains she just solicits sexual favors. Now we can not put the blame for the change of concept in this form of entertainment all on the females some of fault falls on the men also they are the customers.
I’ve composed sub-categories on them too they list is a little longer because they dictate the atmosphere of the females. The first type is the regular these men are usually married or very busy professionals that don’t have a lot of time to date so they use these clubs as places to see beautiful women and have a few drinks then they go home either to their family or an empty house. The second type is the flyer he’s usually a man that comes once and blue he spend a lot of money then disappears for a certain period of time. This kind of customer never looks for extra he just respect the original concept of entertainment. The next category of customers is the peeker this guy just drinks he sometimes isn’t even drinking alcohol never tips; he enjoys the lovely women around him but doesn’t contribute to concept of the club he’s in. The last group of customers you will encounter at a strip club is the nastiest they are the perverts these men come into the club with the intention of finding a woman to do extra stuff with, not even considering that that is not what the club is there for. Throughout my time of working in strip clubs I’ve met all these types of people their assistance to the evolution of this type of entertainment is profound and is what I feel is the essence of the change in concept. If they stayed true to the original plan the first idea, maybe there won’t be so much controversy around this venue at all.
There is a lot of argument against this form of entertainment its goes back to the bible toting missionaries of the early days in the parlors and has grown to be the right winged conservatives on Capitol Hill. To fully understand the debate we must first know the law. Federal law places strip clubs in two categories either the club is topless or all/fully nude. The first category of topless is where the proprietor is allowed to have the dancers work with their breasts exposed but not their treasure boxes. The females walk around in g-string bottoms. Some states require the females to also wear pasties. (They are bedazzled covers for the nipples) The second category is all/fully nude which is when the proprietor are allowed to have there dancers to work completely nude. Some states subject all nude bars to additional restrictions like no alcohol clause meaning these clubs are not allowed to sell or serve alcohol. Another restriction is the no touch rule. This is really self explanatory but some states adopt this natural as a way to control the entertainment. Present-day there is still an on going battle between strip club owner and state officials one example of this struggle is the court case of Barnes vs. Glen Theatre, this case was about two businesses trying to add all nude dancers to there roaster. You see the establishment’s names were the Kitty Kat Inc. which was a strip club and the Glen Theatre Inc which was an adult store the idea was for them to join forces to become one big business adding nude entertainment but the Indiana government tried to ban them. This case went all the way to the US Supreme Court in 1991 were they decided on behalf of the owner saying that a state can’t ban strip clubs because of the first amendment, which includes freedom of expression under the umbrella of freedom of speech.
On the flipside of the argument strip clubs are good places also. They allow adult to use their imaginations. They take couples to places of fantasy when a marriage is becoming stale. They permit undesirable men to feel desirable even if just for a short period of time. It allocates the fantasy union of consenting adults to have a little innocent fun. After all it is entertainment that was the concept for hard working people to be able to go to a place of good music, beautiful women and drinks. Its transition over time is just an outcry of society. But I think they serve a bigger purpose they can prevent some sexual assault. Think about if they were not here just envision all the perverts that are in the clubs out on the loose without a place to go to. Or the peekers, where would they be without some venue where they can legally peep at consenting lovely women there for their amusement. What would these men be doing? That would be a question we would be asking ourselves, so strip clubs serve a purpose.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Blog #18 Important Places
Growing up there were a few places that holds special places in my heart each place for its own reason. One of the first places I will always travel back to in my memory as an extremely important is my grandmother's house. When I was younger her house was my safe place whenever my mother & I went thru our bull---- I would escape to that place. This sanctuary was filled with unconditional love and understanding something I felt didn't live in my home. Another spot I can recall is when I used to visit my family in Baltimore, Maryland. Especially my Aunt Elsie"s house she took no shorts from anyone but she taught me a lot, going there in summer was my city/country retreat. The next place I put on my list is my cousin house in Windsor,North Carolina, they build this house from the ground up and I always used them as inspiration for my own future home. The place on my list is the bathroom, now i know this might be a little strange but its my quiet place the sound of the running water in the pipes plus the the silence of the dark when the lights are off helps me focus and gain clarity when things become foggy. the last place on my list is my first apartment it was an attic apartment with one and half bedrooms but me and my first born were comfortable. It was small but it was mine and I maintained it by myself it was myfirst milestone in my independent life.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
A Window
Have you ever had something that whenever you seen it the anger monster in your head would be calmed. Whenever you seen it the pure company of it took you to a relaxing place. Whenever life seemed unbearable that thing helped you see hope. While I have had an object like that for the most part of my life, it’s never been exactly the same you see it comes in many shapes and sizes its home is in millions of places and in every place it has a different meaning, a different purpose. But its purpose for me as always was the same. It’s given me dreams, questions, answers, basically created the determined mind I have today, shaped the inquisitive attitude people love to endure. That thing in which I am talking about has a usually square-like shape even though I have met round ones, and rectangular ones, even triangular ones , but for the most part it’s been square. It has transparent eyes that you see right through help you picture options and maintain a view into what going on around you, yet some people cannot see, it show pathways to different places and opportunities, it gives warning to unexpected guests. It gives solitude when you need to think or focus on a solution for a problem.
Yes the object I am talking about is a window. As I child I grew up in what most people refer to as the projects, technique named housing complex. These places were brick and cement tiny apartment building with about three floors some having four with three to four apartment on a floor. It had super thin walls but nice big windows. And the one I lived in was close to the highway which I could see from my window. There were many times where I looked out that window and wondered where the cars I saw were from or even where there were going. How I so wanted to go with them to see other places others things besides nosey neighbors and ignorant little boys which was what I felt like I was surrounded with. For the most part my bedroom window was my crystal ball it helped me see into the future.
One day in 1990 the year my baby sister was born, it was about the spring time because I had class the day after the event happened and it was the day she came home from the hospital I was told to clean up the house cause the new baby was coming home. Now most kids would be upset that a new sibling was on the way into their space, but I was excited to have another person to mold into my liking especially because it didn’t work with the other heffer I had to call my sister. But here’s my chance to fix my previous mistakes. Any way I cleaned from the time I got home from school until about 10 minutes before they came in the door. In which time I planted myself at the living room window filled with my mother’s I am jungle garden so I could see them come up the porch stairs, I was tired but still excited; I’d cleaned up my mother’s room so that she and the baby would be comfortable. But when my aunt saw what I did I got yelled at.” Why did you touch this and why did you touch that”, she said “I had everything where it needed to be” She went and told my mother what happened and my mother told her to leave me alone. “She tried”, my mother said so I next went and washed my hands so I could hold my baby-sister. I went back into my mother’s room sat myself firmly in a chair and looked at my aunt to hand me my baby sister, she said ,” what you think your waiting for, your too young to hold the baby now go do some homework or something”. I stood in my mother’s door way puzzled at first because before my aunt went to pick up the pair she promised me that I if I cleaned the way my mother likes it she would make sure I could hold the baby. You see in my family only adult family members are allowed to hold newborns unless or until the infant is three months old, so pre-teen I, holding the baby was a big deal. Anyway I was crashed that my aunt went back on her word so I went in my bedroom to cry. After a few minutes of boo-whoin on my bed I got up and went to my window I must have saw about a thousand cars that night and which I tried to count different state license plates that little game I played with myself distracted me from my initial problem it calmed me down to a point that was able to suck it up and still help my mother with the difficult first night home
Yes the object I am talking about is a window. As I child I grew up in what most people refer to as the projects, technique named housing complex. These places were brick and cement tiny apartment building with about three floors some having four with three to four apartment on a floor. It had super thin walls but nice big windows. And the one I lived in was close to the highway which I could see from my window. There were many times where I looked out that window and wondered where the cars I saw were from or even where there were going. How I so wanted to go with them to see other places others things besides nosey neighbors and ignorant little boys which was what I felt like I was surrounded with. For the most part my bedroom window was my crystal ball it helped me see into the future.
One day in 1990 the year my baby sister was born, it was about the spring time because I had class the day after the event happened and it was the day she came home from the hospital I was told to clean up the house cause the new baby was coming home. Now most kids would be upset that a new sibling was on the way into their space, but I was excited to have another person to mold into my liking especially because it didn’t work with the other heffer I had to call my sister. But here’s my chance to fix my previous mistakes. Any way I cleaned from the time I got home from school until about 10 minutes before they came in the door. In which time I planted myself at the living room window filled with my mother’s I am jungle garden so I could see them come up the porch stairs, I was tired but still excited; I’d cleaned up my mother’s room so that she and the baby would be comfortable. But when my aunt saw what I did I got yelled at.” Why did you touch this and why did you touch that”, she said “I had everything where it needed to be” She went and told my mother what happened and my mother told her to leave me alone. “She tried”, my mother said so I next went and washed my hands so I could hold my baby-sister. I went back into my mother’s room sat myself firmly in a chair and looked at my aunt to hand me my baby sister, she said ,” what you think your waiting for, your too young to hold the baby now go do some homework or something”. I stood in my mother’s door way puzzled at first because before my aunt went to pick up the pair she promised me that I if I cleaned the way my mother likes it she would make sure I could hold the baby. You see in my family only adult family members are allowed to hold newborns unless or until the infant is three months old, so pre-teen I, holding the baby was a big deal. Anyway I was crashed that my aunt went back on her word so I went in my bedroom to cry. After a few minutes of boo-whoin on my bed I got up and went to my window I must have saw about a thousand cars that night and which I tried to count different state license plates that little game I played with myself distracted me from my initial problem it calmed me down to a point that was able to suck it up and still help my mother with the difficult first night home
Monday, November 9, 2009
blog #16 To Interview A Window
1. What is your proposed focus + the object, place, or person you will write about to develop that focus?
A. A light bulb went off in my head after a brief writer’s block with the topic, the flash that appeared was a window write about a window, which was an object that seemed to be a special item in my life. This picture frame locate almost everywhere from a young age held a strong influence on my outlook, I used this squared looking glass as a pathway for most of my life.
2. Identify the specific descriptions or information you will present to develop your focus?
A. In this piece I intend to compare a relationship I've had with an object for the most part of my lie. From the younger years until the impact this object has on my life today.
3. Tell what each description shows about your focus?
A. The short stories I will introduce shall demonstrate the constant influence this transparent plane has had on the life of a lost soul, a developing woman, and a dreamy-eyed young girl.
4. This a specific request for feedback.
A. I myself don’t think I want Feedback about the essay but I only ask the audience to ignore my specific thoughts and show me examples of their own reflections not relating directly to tangible items
A. A light bulb went off in my head after a brief writer’s block with the topic, the flash that appeared was a window write about a window, which was an object that seemed to be a special item in my life. This picture frame locate almost everywhere from a young age held a strong influence on my outlook, I used this squared looking glass as a pathway for most of my life.
2. Identify the specific descriptions or information you will present to develop your focus?
A. In this piece I intend to compare a relationship I've had with an object for the most part of my lie. From the younger years until the impact this object has on my life today.
3. Tell what each description shows about your focus?
A. The short stories I will introduce shall demonstrate the constant influence this transparent plane has had on the life of a lost soul, a developing woman, and a dreamy-eyed young girl.
4. This a specific request for feedback.
A. I myself don’t think I want Feedback about the essay but I only ask the audience to ignore my specific thoughts and show me examples of their own reflections not relating directly to tangible items
Monday, November 2, 2009
The Day my Life became a T.V. Show (revised)
Most of my life I've grown up watching T.V., same as most people in my generation. I was never really an outside kid growing up unless it pertained to a sports activity in which I was involved in. Anyway television was my window into different types of people’s lives & problems. To me T.V. was like real life, it nothing but imitate real life experiences, it just intensifies the environment in which the originally event might have occurred. One of my favorite types of T.V. show was and still is dramas. You know the kind of show that pulls on your heart strings, dramas tend to draw a person in with the emotions of the lead character. We root them while in their conflicts and feel sad when they lose. We empathize and try to relate to their situation, the show goes off and then we move on with the day, never really knowing the feelings that character was trying to invoke.
I don't personally like drama in my own life but do really enjoy watching other people's drama on T.V. So we don’t see the actual mirror that T.V. really portrays, televisions also somehow stretches the truth of the real life situation that dramas is showing us. But one day I had the opportunity to live out my own television drama starring myself and my family.
It was the summertime almost a week after my birthday while in school I received an urgent phone call just like one of the characters would receive on one of my shows which initially gave me a déjà vu moment. The call was from my grandmother telling me I needed to return to my hometown immediately to see my mother. Before this real life T.V. drama began I was just getting close to my mother after our relationship being explosive for most of my life. During my childhood my mother Alice who I was named after was like Dr. Jekell and Ms. Hyde. Now if you know that story which was about a doctor trying to find a cure for an illness and ending giving himself an split personality, well she was kinda like that.
I mean I know my mother loved me, and was extremely proud of me she just didn't really share that information with me directly. Nothing I ever did was acceptable to her, if I received an A on a test she’d ask where’s the extra credit. If I won a track meet and got my picture in the paper she’d say why you didn’t break the record, if I cleaned the house without being told to, she’d get her gloves and try to find mistakes I had made not using her technique. I mean it never stopped, I always heard her praises from a third party to which she had told about my triumphs. But Mommy Dearest never specifically told me, for a longtime growing up I could count on one hand how many time I received the sound of her voice saying to me good job. Due to this straining relationship and a few other reasons which we can't discuss right now I left the nest at the tender age of sixteen. I had my own apartment in another part of the city just for me and my son. My mother and I‘s relationship still went on a lot of rollercoaster rides. It was only at the wise age of twenty that my mother showed me some acknowledgement she actually told me she was proud of me and that was when I met my #1 fan.
For the next few years we talked every day, whenever I felt defeated or had a situation she was right there. At this point in my life my mother was my #1 defender. So when the family was made aware that she was diagnosed with liver disease, I immediately dropped out of college and went to training school in Newark, New Jersey to become a C.N.A. (certified nurse’s assistant) I was going to be the one to take care of her which she would soon need. Back to the story so I'm in school I get that urgent page to get to Christ Hospital in Jersey City, New Jersey. The time of the dire call was 9:16a.m., why I still know that actually time is because for about five minutes time stood still and my watch was blinking 9:16, of course that didn't really happen but that's what it felt like in my mind but when I did return to reality I checked my phone's call history and I guess that was when that set time was stored in my head. By this time I was in my car driving forgetting speed limits oblivious to the law I arrived at the hospital at 9:38a.m. I parked my car anywhere and ran into the hospital. I went to the nurse's station to ask where my mother is. The nurse on duty told me she was in room 514C (yeah I remember that too) so I walked really, really fast down the hallway to room 514C.
In this beige and blue room attached to what seemed to me like 10 machines laying in this metal and white bed was my Dr. Jekell & Ms. Hyde mother. Here she was so still in this bed looking so peaceful and strained like she was tied down. So I sat down on the side of her bed first placing my head on chest, I wanted to hear her heartbeat. But then I was reminded of all those machines she was attached too, so I began to question is that her or the machine? Not being able to answer my own question I then placed her hand in mine and stared at this angelic creature that to me for so long was so strong but now looked so helpless. I stared at that angelic creature in this bed with all those machines attached for awhile she began to look like she was sleeping I think I started to imagine that she was just sleeping in her own bed snoring as usual. Then the reality hit me again and the visual that I really had came back those damn machines.
After some time my little sister arrived , she is a few years younger than me but we both were grown, there still was another sister, this teenage girl in a 5Th grade class oblivious to what was going on . Well my little sister entered room 514C, while I was still sitting at my mother bedside hand in hand, she just stood at the foot of the bed staring. Here comes the T.V. moment, as I sit on the side of the bed my mother 's hand in mine my sister started to touch my mother's leg once both of our hands were touching her at the same tie those damn machines started to beep, the alarm on the machine which tells you her heart rate and blood pressure changed color . The monitor once black with two red lines, one solid and straight the other wavy like the ocean are now both blue and straight just like on T.V. My mother had flat lined my sister and I looked up at each other and then a team of nurses and doctors swarmed in the room same as the shows I watch so often. One of the nurses told me that we had to leave the room. And in that moment which seemed like an eternity we froze and neither I nor my sister could move. I personally was stuck in amazement looking at an actual crash cart with paddle that another nurse was placing on my mother's chest, I then looked over at my sister and she was on the floor. An orderly had to carry her into the waiting room the nurse escorted me into.
While my sister and I waited in this dull beige and brown closet like room, the team attempted to revive my mother. As we waited a lifetime in that dull beige & brown room two priest walked in just like on T.V., one African American and the other Caucasian. When I saw them I guess that's when the true reality of the situation set in and I began to scream NO, NO, NO. I told the ministers to get out it not over yet, y'all came too early. But they weren't because at that moment when I was trying to get rid of them the doctor came into our closet like waiting room. The look on her face told the story but she still utter those famous T.V. words," we did all we could do but she didn't pull thru". At first I just gazed at the doctor as she then told us her official time of death which was 12:23pm. Yeah just about three hours after I arrived at Christ Hospital in Jersey City, I was instructed to say goodbye to my #1 fan. I was told to let go of my Dr. Jekell & Ms. Hyde mother and I didn't want to even thou most of my life she had a split personality she was still MOMMY.
This woman taught me mostly everything I know from paying a bill to getting men to do what you want. She was the mother all my friends wished was theirs when I was in elementary school, this was the lady I would die fro but also worked my last nerve. I felt that I had too many more lessons to learn. When that team of doctors and nurses couldn't save my mother I felt cheated like T.V. had lied to me, but I realized I wasn't on T.V. Because on the shows they scare you a little but the character always pull thru, but not MOMMY. We would love to have T.V. live our lives for us for things to go wrong but just for a little while to know that by the end of that scene everything would be alright again. But real life moments are not like T.V. moments they differ in the fact that T.V. has commercials and it shows stops after a set amount of time where as real life stops but always keeps going making up its own time line and rules never ending. My T.V. moment is forever embedded in my memory, it would also never end I live with that visual every day. For the next few days my family and I made arrangement to lay our angelic peacefully sleeping mother to rest. Ever since August 25, 2003, at 12:23pm I've felt unwhole, every day I feel like I'm forgetting something. Maybe its guilt over the fact that I wasn't able to take care of her like I now feel she took care of me. I mean how a person can get over losing their center, their defender; their #1 fan. The only peace of mind that I have is the fact that I know she's back where she belongs showing God her Dr. Jekell & Ms. Hyde personality every day until we meet again. In retrospect of my T.V. moment I learned or realized a very good point, T.V. does mirror real life but thru Rose colored glasses, and when stuff happens in the real world without your glasses it hurts. We watch events occur on the television but in life we feel things happen to us.
I don't personally like drama in my own life but do really enjoy watching other people's drama on T.V. So we don’t see the actual mirror that T.V. really portrays, televisions also somehow stretches the truth of the real life situation that dramas is showing us. But one day I had the opportunity to live out my own television drama starring myself and my family.
It was the summertime almost a week after my birthday while in school I received an urgent phone call just like one of the characters would receive on one of my shows which initially gave me a déjà vu moment. The call was from my grandmother telling me I needed to return to my hometown immediately to see my mother. Before this real life T.V. drama began I was just getting close to my mother after our relationship being explosive for most of my life. During my childhood my mother Alice who I was named after was like Dr. Jekell and Ms. Hyde. Now if you know that story which was about a doctor trying to find a cure for an illness and ending giving himself an split personality, well she was kinda like that.
I mean I know my mother loved me, and was extremely proud of me she just didn't really share that information with me directly. Nothing I ever did was acceptable to her, if I received an A on a test she’d ask where’s the extra credit. If I won a track meet and got my picture in the paper she’d say why you didn’t break the record, if I cleaned the house without being told to, she’d get her gloves and try to find mistakes I had made not using her technique. I mean it never stopped, I always heard her praises from a third party to which she had told about my triumphs. But Mommy Dearest never specifically told me, for a longtime growing up I could count on one hand how many time I received the sound of her voice saying to me good job. Due to this straining relationship and a few other reasons which we can't discuss right now I left the nest at the tender age of sixteen. I had my own apartment in another part of the city just for me and my son. My mother and I‘s relationship still went on a lot of rollercoaster rides. It was only at the wise age of twenty that my mother showed me some acknowledgement she actually told me she was proud of me and that was when I met my #1 fan.
For the next few years we talked every day, whenever I felt defeated or had a situation she was right there. At this point in my life my mother was my #1 defender. So when the family was made aware that she was diagnosed with liver disease, I immediately dropped out of college and went to training school in Newark, New Jersey to become a C.N.A. (certified nurse’s assistant) I was going to be the one to take care of her which she would soon need. Back to the story so I'm in school I get that urgent page to get to Christ Hospital in Jersey City, New Jersey. The time of the dire call was 9:16a.m., why I still know that actually time is because for about five minutes time stood still and my watch was blinking 9:16, of course that didn't really happen but that's what it felt like in my mind but when I did return to reality I checked my phone's call history and I guess that was when that set time was stored in my head. By this time I was in my car driving forgetting speed limits oblivious to the law I arrived at the hospital at 9:38a.m. I parked my car anywhere and ran into the hospital. I went to the nurse's station to ask where my mother is. The nurse on duty told me she was in room 514C (yeah I remember that too) so I walked really, really fast down the hallway to room 514C.
In this beige and blue room attached to what seemed to me like 10 machines laying in this metal and white bed was my Dr. Jekell & Ms. Hyde mother. Here she was so still in this bed looking so peaceful and strained like she was tied down. So I sat down on the side of her bed first placing my head on chest, I wanted to hear her heartbeat. But then I was reminded of all those machines she was attached too, so I began to question is that her or the machine? Not being able to answer my own question I then placed her hand in mine and stared at this angelic creature that to me for so long was so strong but now looked so helpless. I stared at that angelic creature in this bed with all those machines attached for awhile she began to look like she was sleeping I think I started to imagine that she was just sleeping in her own bed snoring as usual. Then the reality hit me again and the visual that I really had came back those damn machines.
After some time my little sister arrived , she is a few years younger than me but we both were grown, there still was another sister, this teenage girl in a 5Th grade class oblivious to what was going on . Well my little sister entered room 514C, while I was still sitting at my mother bedside hand in hand, she just stood at the foot of the bed staring. Here comes the T.V. moment, as I sit on the side of the bed my mother 's hand in mine my sister started to touch my mother's leg once both of our hands were touching her at the same tie those damn machines started to beep, the alarm on the machine which tells you her heart rate and blood pressure changed color . The monitor once black with two red lines, one solid and straight the other wavy like the ocean are now both blue and straight just like on T.V. My mother had flat lined my sister and I looked up at each other and then a team of nurses and doctors swarmed in the room same as the shows I watch so often. One of the nurses told me that we had to leave the room. And in that moment which seemed like an eternity we froze and neither I nor my sister could move. I personally was stuck in amazement looking at an actual crash cart with paddle that another nurse was placing on my mother's chest, I then looked over at my sister and she was on the floor. An orderly had to carry her into the waiting room the nurse escorted me into.
While my sister and I waited in this dull beige and brown closet like room, the team attempted to revive my mother. As we waited a lifetime in that dull beige & brown room two priest walked in just like on T.V., one African American and the other Caucasian. When I saw them I guess that's when the true reality of the situation set in and I began to scream NO, NO, NO. I told the ministers to get out it not over yet, y'all came too early. But they weren't because at that moment when I was trying to get rid of them the doctor came into our closet like waiting room. The look on her face told the story but she still utter those famous T.V. words," we did all we could do but she didn't pull thru". At first I just gazed at the doctor as she then told us her official time of death which was 12:23pm. Yeah just about three hours after I arrived at Christ Hospital in Jersey City, I was instructed to say goodbye to my #1 fan. I was told to let go of my Dr. Jekell & Ms. Hyde mother and I didn't want to even thou most of my life she had a split personality she was still MOMMY.
This woman taught me mostly everything I know from paying a bill to getting men to do what you want. She was the mother all my friends wished was theirs when I was in elementary school, this was the lady I would die fro but also worked my last nerve. I felt that I had too many more lessons to learn. When that team of doctors and nurses couldn't save my mother I felt cheated like T.V. had lied to me, but I realized I wasn't on T.V. Because on the shows they scare you a little but the character always pull thru, but not MOMMY. We would love to have T.V. live our lives for us for things to go wrong but just for a little while to know that by the end of that scene everything would be alright again. But real life moments are not like T.V. moments they differ in the fact that T.V. has commercials and it shows stops after a set amount of time where as real life stops but always keeps going making up its own time line and rules never ending. My T.V. moment is forever embedded in my memory, it would also never end I live with that visual every day. For the next few days my family and I made arrangement to lay our angelic peacefully sleeping mother to rest. Ever since August 25, 2003, at 12:23pm I've felt unwhole, every day I feel like I'm forgetting something. Maybe its guilt over the fact that I wasn't able to take care of her like I now feel she took care of me. I mean how a person can get over losing their center, their defender; their #1 fan. The only peace of mind that I have is the fact that I know she's back where she belongs showing God her Dr. Jekell & Ms. Hyde personality every day until we meet again. In retrospect of my T.V. moment I learned or realized a very good point, T.V. does mirror real life but thru Rose colored glasses, and when stuff happens in the real world without your glasses it hurts. We watch events occur on the television but in life we feel things happen to us.
Blog # 14 THE TRIO
The photograph that I am going to talk about is one that I loved the first time I looked at it and love every time I see it now. It was taken Thanksgiving day 2008. My family gathered at my little sister Ko-Ko's house, where she did all the cooking for the holiday just like my nanny(grandmother) used to do when we were younger, but she not here anymore. Anyway the picture is of all my mother's children. All three of her girls looking like charlie's angel alive and healthy plus gorgeously grown. we took that picture to remind ourselves of that very fact, we were Alice's Angels. The picture we took displayed us in age-order myself first, then Ko-Ko, then Ruddy. Looking at this picture into our eyes this is the first picture we've took in a long time that I feel we wanted to take and you see that in that moment we are happy. reflecting back we also looked a little chunky. Thank God me and Ko-Ko have slimmed down since that famous Thanksgiving day.
Blog #13 What did I find
I first looked in a purse that I haven't used for a while and in this purse I found a recite from a shopping spree that me and the kids went on during the summertime. I knew it was from the summer from the date on it, 07162009 is what was on this extremely long white faded strip of paper that I discovered. The pure thought of that fun day brings a smile to my face & heart, I saved a little piece of change from picking up shifts while people went on vacation at the bar. Finally I had about 400 dollars just to blow. And believe me that's exactly what we did, s--t we went to the mall during Old Navy's summer sale and shopped like we were royalty. I was the Queen and my sons were my princes.
The other day while was looking in my book bag for a pencil to do some Psychological Statistics homework at the very bottom of my book bag was a map. but this was not just any map, this was the one which put all this in motion, I used this very map to restart pursuing my dreams. It was a map of Kean University. The same map that helped me navigate my way around the enormous campus to apply, register, just everything. Shoot for the first couple of week of school this colored diagram of walkways and building was my lifeline to success & the next phrase of my career goals.
The other day while was looking in my book bag for a pencil to do some Psychological Statistics homework at the very bottom of my book bag was a map. but this was not just any map, this was the one which put all this in motion, I used this very map to restart pursuing my dreams. It was a map of Kean University. The same map that helped me navigate my way around the enormous campus to apply, register, just everything. Shoot for the first couple of week of school this colored diagram of walkways and building was my lifeline to success & the next phrase of my career goals.
Blog # 12 Which One?
After completing my second essay I went back to the first one. When I started to read it I realized that I could do a little more to that first essay. My second essay in my opinion has more meat to it. So a reader once finish reading it can feel full. Where as my first essay leaves you with questions and a reader I feel might even be hungry after that read. Now I did intend to leave a reader with questions but I didn't want them to starve. But, I now see things a tad differently, don't get me wrong I still want my readers to question things just trying to cut the list down. So my decision is to fill in some of the gaps that I left in my first essay's subject matter, so that now me and the reader would be happy. I get to make you think and also give you a fulling read. I hope y'all enjoy it.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
My Sleeping Birth
A longtime ago in the early 1990’s an eager young freshman started high school. She was excited to embark on a new journey filled with new people, new teachers just a new environment was enough to light a fire under her ass. This young freshman felt as if she was just let out of serving time in a maximum security prison. You see she had just graduated from the Acceleration & Enrichment Program, which was a program for gifted students which allowed them to basically skip a grade. These students are afforded the opportunity to study pure curriculum .( meaning no fun stuff like gym, just brain food) That school’s idea of Phy.Ed consisted of given the students one hour a week to go into the parking lot and play, like they were elementary students at recess. Back to the story the young freshman wanted to enroll in an afterschool activity she decided to return to a sport she once was involved with which was track & field. The young freshman ran track & field before she was dragged to that prison they called a school. She started with the first type in high school which was cross country. The freshman was now overexcited to run cross-country, the naive freshman thought that cross- country meant that the team traveled around the country competing. But to her surprise it meant distance running. (Meaning you run for miles) During this shocking process the eager freshman was partnered up with an arrogant blue-black senior guy to train with. The track coach had this crazy notion that pairing a girl with a guy pushes the girl stronger. Nevertheless the young freshman was paired with this extremely conceited senior; he was the captain of the boy’s team. At first the freshman couldn’t stand her partner, she fought him every step of the way. This sleaze bag felt like he was God’s gift to women and he wasn’t that cute plus he was from the Caribbean. As the season progressed, these two the freshman & the arrogant senior became friends, the freshman started to see a different side of the sleaze bag, once arrogant and conceited he was now also considerate and sweet at times. She learned he was intelligent and compassionate as well. Toward the end of the cross-country season these two were always together on and off the track. On February 28, 1994, after practice during the now indoor track season (which took place during the cold winter months) the athletes competing inside the senior gave his freshman girlfriend her usually ride home. But this day they didn’t go straight to her house he took her to his brother’s apartment for some alone time before her curfew. The couple got to their destination just as the brother was still at work so they would not be disrupted. The freshman was sore from practice so the now sweet senior offered to help her out with a leg massage. For the duration of the freshman’s massage the two talked about their relationship. The once arrogant senior told the freshman that he now loved her, and the freshman felt so warm that she felt obligated to make love to him. That was the natural next step after someone you’re dating says that right? Subsequently the freshman thought, so they did, these two experiences started on the bed slow and gentle protected also but it was awkward and weird. After their time spent on the bed the freshman was still sore maybe a little more now that she did what she did. But the now sweet senior ran her a hot bubble bath to relax those tight muscles. The freshman entered the nice soothing bath allowing for some time to past, then the freshman invited the senior to join her being that they was still room for another. While lying in this relaxing tub of temptation with all the pores of your body opening the two started something else another round of “work” began this time less awkward than the first. After they toweled off the senior then took the freshman home. For the next few months well into the outdoor season of track & field this couple was so tight it became sickening, they started to finish each other thoughts. Until the senior got a new car then the guy the freshman initially met started to resurface. The freshman didn’t like that the senior’s popularity began to rise and the attention went to his head he would flirt directly in the freshman’s face. She had enough so they broke up right before his birthday in May. The freshman was no longer the center of the senior’s attention and she wasn’t having that. Now it’s the end of the school year and the summer is on the horizon the young girl is not a freshman anymore. Throughout the young girl’s summer she had fun going to events in the community until one day in late July, she had a huge argument with her mother what they disagreed about she can’t recall but she knew it was big because she went to stay at her grandmother’s house for a while. The whole time the young girl was at her grandmother’s house the grandmother was having these feelings that it was something different about her grandchild. This concern troubled the grandmother so she ordered her daughter to take her daughter to the doctor. The doctor the grandmother was referring to was the GYN; you see the grandmother suspected that her young granddaughter was pregnant. When the young girl was told of the idea she laughed hilariously because as we all learned in Health Ed., a woman is pregnant when she has sex and then her menstrual cycle stops. And the young girl’s cycle never stopped, so she felt like she had no worries. So exactly 15 days before the young girl’s 15th birthday the young girl was taken to the GYN by her mother. When they arrived to this hospital like environment she started to laugh again, thinking that her family was in for a surprise because she wasn’t pregnant. The young girl thought you have to be sexually involved to have a baby and she wasn’t having been for some time plus she had her cycle the month before. So the young was instructed to enter this exam room and the doctor came in and started by asking her a few questions like; “have you ever had sex?, when was the last time you had sex if ever?, and when was your last cycle?” The young girl replied, “Yes, about6 months ago, and 3 weeks ago.” Then the doctor next told the young girl to remove her clothes and put on a gown for her examination. The girl did, and it began the doctor started with placing a hard cold thing in between her legs, “that hurts” the girl said. Then she was instructed to go to the bathroom to pee in a plastic cup. Aw! Said the girl but she did that was the actual pregnancy test. The young now thought her family would be sorry for subjecting her to this cruelty so early in her life. After the young girl returned from the bathroom the nurse stuck her with a needle to draw her blood for more tests then told her she could redress and wait for the doctor with her mother. The young girl found her mother sitting on these blue-metal chairs attached to each other in rows of four she sat one chair away from her mother and they waited. Approximately 20 minutes later the doctor came out there and ask the pair to join him back in that cold scary examination room. The doctor handed a white receipt like paper to the young girl, and then left her alone with her mother. She didn’t really understand what was on it, but she did see a + sign on it with a big circle around it. The young girl threw the paper at her mother and said “See I’m not pregnant!” The mother looked at the paper and slapped the taste out the young girl’s mouth. “You stupid heifer”, said the mother, “that means you are pregnant.” The young girl stood stunned, and confused by both what her mother said and did. The doctor returned into the room to discuss the options the young girl had, he gave her and her mother a few pamphlets then scheduled an appointment for the next month as well as prescribing some prenatal vitamins. The entire car ride home the young girl was quiet trying to wrap her head around what was going on. Her mother wasn’t so talkative either. But when these travelers reached their home the thunder and earthquakes began. The earthquakes continued on a regular base, every time the young girl and her mother’s eyes met the floor would shake here comes another one. After a few days the thunder stooped because next they had to decide on what to do. The mother’s first instinct was to save her young girl’s youth so she thought. Only way she had was to terminate the pregnancy so without even considering the young girl’s feeling her mother took her somewhere. This was another hospital like environment but it was a clinic. Before a clinic can terminate a pregnancy they have to verify how far the patient is. The young girl had to drink damn near a gallon of water before they could give her the ultra-sound. (This was how they checked) It was now the young girl’s turn to have an ultrasound the technician told her to remove her clothes and put on a gown. The young girl thought her we go again. Nonetheless the tech then told her to lie down on this wax like paper on the exam table. (Yeah another one) Then this woman tech placed this cold slimy gel stuff on the young girl’s abdominal area, the young girl flinched a little at the coldness of the gel, the tech instructed her to try to lay still. Following a few minutes it was over the tech wiped the slimy stuff off the young girl’s stomach area and told her to get dressed. Then a doctor again escorted the young girl and her mother into an office there he told them that they could not terminate the young girl’s pregnancy because she was 22 weeks pregnant and that facility could only terminate up to 20 weeks. The doctor also informed them that it would be illegal for anyone to terminate past 25 weeks. Now the clock was ticking for the mother’s initial plan, she had less than two weeks to get this done and save her daughter so she thought. At this point the young girl finally opened her mouth and told her mother to stop, “ I wanna keep my baby”, said the young girl, “ ma it’s a real baby now”, she further replied. The mother shocked stayed silent and walked toward the car. At this juncture we have another pin dropping car ride. But when they reached the house the mother stayed silent she just went into her bedroom and grabbed the phone. The mother called her mother to tell her the events that happened at the hospital like clinic. The young girl’s 15th birthday came & went there were other issues taking place more important than her age change so there was no celebration that year. A few weeks later the young girl’s sophomore year of high school began. The first day of school came still not showing so much the now young sophomore went to class; most of her classmate couldn’t believe she was pregnant or how far along she was. They figured she was about 3 or 4 months being that she had a pouch not a belly but the sophomore was almost 7 months. Any way the first month wasn’t so hard but when the young sophomore got into taking her prenatal vitamins she started to grow and then it got hard. One day while trying to make her way up the stairs to her biology class the pregnant sophomore felt sharp pains in her stomach and felon the stairs. A student walking bye went to get the school nurse. The pregnant sophomore was in labor, but premature labor because she was not due to deliver for about 10 more weeks. The pregnant sophomore was taken to the hospital (a real one) where her labor was stopped. She spent a few days there in the hospital to make sure everything was alright. When the young pregnant sophomore returned home she learned that she would no longer be attending regular school she would now be home schooled. That was when teachers came to the home to teach a lesson, the instructor only came once a week for two hours per subject. In the beginning the young pregnant sophomore was upset feeling as though she was going miss something in the halls of a high school, but when the actual sessions started she was thrilled. The young pregnant sophomore only had school for no more than 4 hours a day and then she had a week to complete her assignments. For the next 2 months the young pregnant sophomore did nothing but lay in a bed (this was doctor’s order she had a high-risk pregnancy) she was only allowed to get out of it to go to the bathroom, doctor, and for the instructors for home school. The young pregnant sophomore was miserable, she felt the life growing inside her which was her only comfort she had, but the anticipation was killing her softly. December 14, 1994, the young pregnant sophomore went to the doctor because she was a week late the baby was supposed to be here already. At this visit the doctor informed the girl that everything was fine but if she didn’t deliver within the week they would have to induce her labor. The young pregnant girl went back home to her bed and waited to go to sleep. Later on about 3am in the morning the young pregnant sophomore was sleeping when she was awaken by the fact she felt like she had to pee really bad like she had not been to the bathroom for like days. So she went to the bathroom as the young pregnant sophomore sat down on the toilet she began to leak lots and lots of fluid like substance. The young pregnant sophomore didn’t know what was happening so she called out to her mother. MA! MA! She yelled and her half sleep mother ran into the bathroom, “I can’t stop peeing “, the girl said. Her mother confused herself called a relative for help due to the fact that she had her kids by c-section. They informed the mother that the young pregnant sophomore‘s water just broke and the baby was coming she needed to get to the hospital. The mother called 911, and they came and took them to another real hospital. At the hospital the young pregnant sophomore was rushed into what they call a labor room, where they would monitor her labor until she was fully ready to deliver. The young pregnant sophomore in a little pain was still sleepy, she began to complain, her mother told her to stop, they start arguing then out of nowhere the young pregnant sophomore slapped the taste out her mother’s mouth while screaming “Shut Up!” A nearby nurse save that young pregnant girls’ life cause the mother was ready to strike. The nurse then gave the young pregnant sophomore something for the pain which put her to sleep. A few hours later the young pregnant sophomore was awoken by a nurse telling her it was time, she was fully dilated and it was time to push the baby out. The young pregnant sophomore still sleep was rolled into to a delivery room as they pushed her down the hall her eyes opening and closing she could remember the big white lights above her head. All she wanted to do was sleep. But some way with help of a nurse she gave birth at 9:35am anyhow. The funny thing is that the young pregnant sophomore was sleeping during the delivery so when she finally was waked she had no idea what happened and was wondering why she wasn’t pregnant anymore. Her mother who was napping by her bed told her she was now a mother to a beautiful baby boy. The now young sophomore mother was introduced to a 6lb. 15.5oz. Little Chinese looking baby in which she named KEVIN.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Blog #10 What's Next My Sleeping Birth
The next subject I am going to attempt tell a story about is the nature of child birth and how a young girl learns that nature first hand. I will try to show her long and stressful journey into becoming a parent extremely early. this essay will attempt to explain the miracle of life which is my son. When I think back to that time in my life I now laugh but then i do remember being scared. I felt like I was in war for the life of my baby. I mean it was bad enough getting disowned by some family member while placed a young pregnant teen on guard. But throughout the struggle I still had my bundle of joy. And now he and are fighting the war together.
Blog #9 Reflection
During the process of writing this essay I rediscovered feeling about the situation i had almost forgot. I realized they were emotions that I had been suppressing for some time now. As I was traveling back to those moments in my life I revisited those emotions. And while going through these motions I was also able to gain a better understanding of what had actually happened and in that light I felt that the experience made my essay better. At first I didn't believe that I would be able to write the piece since the subject matter was so close to me. Now in terms of revision i don't think I wanna touch it but i might add a little back story to the relationship between my mother and myself. I don't particularly feel comfortable with that idea but we'll see what happens when I cross that bridge.
Monday, October 5, 2009
The Day My Life Became A T.V. Show
Most of my life I've grown up watching T.V., same as most people in my generation. I was never really an outside kid growing up unless it pertained to a sports activity in which I was involved in. Anyway television was my window into different types of peoples lives & problems. One of my favorite types of T.V. show was and still is dramas. You know the kind of show that pulls on your heart strings, dramas tend to draw a person in with the emotions of the lead character. W e root them while in their conflicts and feel sad when they lose. We empathise and try to relate to their situation, the show goes off and then we move on with the day,never really knowing the feelings that character was trying to invoke. I don't personally like drama in my own life but do really enjoy watching other people's drama on T.V. But one day I had the opportunity to live out my own television drama starring myself and my family .
It was the summertime almost a week after my birthday while in school I received an urgent phone call just like one of the characters would receive on one of my shows which initially gave me a deja vu moment. the call was from my grandmother telling me I needed to return to my hometown immediately to see my mother. Before this real life drama began i was just getting close to my mother after our relationship being explosive for most of my life. During my childhood my mother Alice who I was named after was like Dr. Jekell And Ms. Hyde. Now if you know that story which was about a doctor trying to find a cure for an illness and ending giving himself an split personality, well she was kinda like that. i mean I know my mother loved me, and was extremely proud of me she just didn't really share that information with me directly. I always heard her praises from a third party to which she had told about my triumphs. Due to this straining relationship and list of other reasons which we can't discuss right now I left the nest at the tender age of sixteen . It was only at the wise age of twenty that my mother showed me some acknowledgement head to head and that was when I met my #1 fan.
For the next few years we talked everyday, whenever I felt defeated or had a situation she was right there. At this point in my life my mother was my #1 defender. So when the family was made aware that she was diagnosed with liver disease, I immediately drooped out of college and went to training school in New ark, New Jersey to become a C.N.A. (certified nurses assistant) I was gonna be the one to take care of her which she was about to need. Back to the story so I'm in school I get that urgent page to get to Christ Hospital in Jersey City, New Jersey. The time of the dire call was 9:16a.m., why I still know that actually time is because for about five minutes time stood still and my watch was blinking 9:16, of course that didn't really happen but that's what it felt like in my mind but when I did return to reality I checked my phone's call history and I guess that was when that set time was stored in my head. By this time I was in my car driving forgetting speed limits oblivious to the law I arrived at the hospital at 9:38a.m. I parked my car anywhere and ran into the hospital. I went to the nurse's station to ask where is my mother. The nurse on duty told me she was in room 514C ( yeah I remember that too) so I walked really really fast down the hallway to room 514C. In this beige and blue room attached to what seemed to me like 10 machines laying in this metal and white bed was my Dr. Jekell & Ms. Hyde mother. Here she was so still in this bed looking so peaceful and strained like she was tied down. So I sat down on the side of her bed first placing my head on chest, I wanted to hear her heartbeat. But then I was reminded of all those machines she was attached too ,so I began to question is that her or the machine? Not being able to answer my own question I then placed her hand in mine and stared at this angelic creature whom to me for so long was so strong but now looked so helpless. I stared at that angelic creature in this bed with all those machines attached for awhile she began to look like she was sleeping I think I started to imagine that she was just sleeping in her own bed snoring as usual. Then the reality hit me again and the visual that i really had came back those damn machines. After some time my little sister arrived , she is a few years younger than me but we both were grown, there still was another sister, this teenage girl in a 5Th grade class oblivious to what was going on . Well my little sister entered room 514C ,while I was still sitting at my mother bedside hand in hand, she just stood at the foot of the bed staring. Hear comes the T.V. moment, as I sit on the side of the bed my mother 's hand in mine my sister started to to touch my mother's leg once both of our hands were touching her at the same tie those damn machines started to beep, the alarm on the machine which tells you her heart rate and blood pressure changed color . The monitor once black with two red lines, one solid and straight the other wavy like the ocean are now both blue and straight just like on T.V. My mother had flat lined my sister and I looked up at each other and then a team of nurses and doctors swarmed in the room same as the shows I watch so often. One of the nurses told me that we had to leave the room. And in that moment which seemed like an eternity we froze and neither I nor my sister could move. I personally was stuck in amazement looking at an actual crash cart with paddle that another nurse was placing on my mother's chest, I then looked over at my sister and she was on the floor. An orderly had to carry her into the waiting room the nurse escorted me into. while my sister and I waited in this dull beige and brown closet like room, the team attempted to revive my mother. As we waited a lifetime in that dull beige & brown room two priest walked in just like on T.V., one African American and the other Caucasian. When I saw them I guess that's when the true reality of the situation set in and I began to scream NO, NO, NO. I told the ministers to get out it not over yet , y'all came too early. But they weren't because at that moment when I was trying to get rid of them the doctor came into our closet like waiting room. The look on her face told the story but she still utter those famous T.V. words ," we did all we could do but she didn't pull thru". At first I just gazed at the doctor as she then told us her official time of death which was 12:23pm. Yeah just about three hours after I arrived at Christ Hospital in Jersey City, I was instructed to say goodbye to my #1 fan. I was told to let go of my Dr. Jekell & Ms. Hyde mother and I didn't want to even thou most of my life she had a split personality she was still MOMMY. This woman taught me mostly everything I know from paying a bill to getting men to do what you want. I felt that I had too many more lesson to learn. when that team of doctors and nurses couldn't save my mother I felt cheated like T.V. had lied to me , but I realized I wasn't on T.V.. Because on the shows they scare you a little but the character always pull thru, but not MOMMY. My T.V. moment is forever embedded in my memory I live with that visual everyday. For the next few days my family and I made arrangement to lay our angelic peacefully sleeping mother to rest. Ever since August 25,2003 , at 12:23pm I've felt unwhole, everyday I feel like I'm forgetting something. Maybe its guilt over the fact that I wasn't able to take care of her like I now feel she took care of me. I mean how can a person get over losing their center , their defender ; their #1 fan. The only peace of mind that I have is the fact that I know she's back where she belongs showing God her Dr. Jekell & Ms. Hyde personality everyday until we meet again.
It was the summertime almost a week after my birthday while in school I received an urgent phone call just like one of the characters would receive on one of my shows which initially gave me a deja vu moment. the call was from my grandmother telling me I needed to return to my hometown immediately to see my mother. Before this real life drama began i was just getting close to my mother after our relationship being explosive for most of my life. During my childhood my mother Alice who I was named after was like Dr. Jekell And Ms. Hyde. Now if you know that story which was about a doctor trying to find a cure for an illness and ending giving himself an split personality, well she was kinda like that. i mean I know my mother loved me, and was extremely proud of me she just didn't really share that information with me directly. I always heard her praises from a third party to which she had told about my triumphs. Due to this straining relationship and list of other reasons which we can't discuss right now I left the nest at the tender age of sixteen . It was only at the wise age of twenty that my mother showed me some acknowledgement head to head and that was when I met my #1 fan.
For the next few years we talked everyday, whenever I felt defeated or had a situation she was right there. At this point in my life my mother was my #1 defender. So when the family was made aware that she was diagnosed with liver disease, I immediately drooped out of college and went to training school in New ark, New Jersey to become a C.N.A. (certified nurses assistant) I was gonna be the one to take care of her which she was about to need. Back to the story so I'm in school I get that urgent page to get to Christ Hospital in Jersey City, New Jersey. The time of the dire call was 9:16a.m., why I still know that actually time is because for about five minutes time stood still and my watch was blinking 9:16, of course that didn't really happen but that's what it felt like in my mind but when I did return to reality I checked my phone's call history and I guess that was when that set time was stored in my head. By this time I was in my car driving forgetting speed limits oblivious to the law I arrived at the hospital at 9:38a.m. I parked my car anywhere and ran into the hospital. I went to the nurse's station to ask where is my mother. The nurse on duty told me she was in room 514C ( yeah I remember that too) so I walked really really fast down the hallway to room 514C. In this beige and blue room attached to what seemed to me like 10 machines laying in this metal and white bed was my Dr. Jekell & Ms. Hyde mother. Here she was so still in this bed looking so peaceful and strained like she was tied down. So I sat down on the side of her bed first placing my head on chest, I wanted to hear her heartbeat. But then I was reminded of all those machines she was attached too ,so I began to question is that her or the machine? Not being able to answer my own question I then placed her hand in mine and stared at this angelic creature whom to me for so long was so strong but now looked so helpless. I stared at that angelic creature in this bed with all those machines attached for awhile she began to look like she was sleeping I think I started to imagine that she was just sleeping in her own bed snoring as usual. Then the reality hit me again and the visual that i really had came back those damn machines. After some time my little sister arrived , she is a few years younger than me but we both were grown, there still was another sister, this teenage girl in a 5Th grade class oblivious to what was going on . Well my little sister entered room 514C ,while I was still sitting at my mother bedside hand in hand, she just stood at the foot of the bed staring. Hear comes the T.V. moment, as I sit on the side of the bed my mother 's hand in mine my sister started to to touch my mother's leg once both of our hands were touching her at the same tie those damn machines started to beep, the alarm on the machine which tells you her heart rate and blood pressure changed color . The monitor once black with two red lines, one solid and straight the other wavy like the ocean are now both blue and straight just like on T.V. My mother had flat lined my sister and I looked up at each other and then a team of nurses and doctors swarmed in the room same as the shows I watch so often. One of the nurses told me that we had to leave the room. And in that moment which seemed like an eternity we froze and neither I nor my sister could move. I personally was stuck in amazement looking at an actual crash cart with paddle that another nurse was placing on my mother's chest, I then looked over at my sister and she was on the floor. An orderly had to carry her into the waiting room the nurse escorted me into. while my sister and I waited in this dull beige and brown closet like room, the team attempted to revive my mother. As we waited a lifetime in that dull beige & brown room two priest walked in just like on T.V., one African American and the other Caucasian. When I saw them I guess that's when the true reality of the situation set in and I began to scream NO, NO, NO. I told the ministers to get out it not over yet , y'all came too early. But they weren't because at that moment when I was trying to get rid of them the doctor came into our closet like waiting room. The look on her face told the story but she still utter those famous T.V. words ," we did all we could do but she didn't pull thru". At first I just gazed at the doctor as she then told us her official time of death which was 12:23pm. Yeah just about three hours after I arrived at Christ Hospital in Jersey City, I was instructed to say goodbye to my #1 fan. I was told to let go of my Dr. Jekell & Ms. Hyde mother and I didn't want to even thou most of my life she had a split personality she was still MOMMY. This woman taught me mostly everything I know from paying a bill to getting men to do what you want. I felt that I had too many more lesson to learn. when that team of doctors and nurses couldn't save my mother I felt cheated like T.V. had lied to me , but I realized I wasn't on T.V.. Because on the shows they scare you a little but the character always pull thru, but not MOMMY. My T.V. moment is forever embedded in my memory I live with that visual everyday. For the next few days my family and I made arrangement to lay our angelic peacefully sleeping mother to rest. Ever since August 25,2003 , at 12:23pm I've felt unwhole, everyday I feel like I'm forgetting something. Maybe its guilt over the fact that I wasn't able to take care of her like I now feel she took care of me. I mean how can a person get over losing their center , their defender ; their #1 fan. The only peace of mind that I have is the fact that I know she's back where she belongs showing God her Dr. Jekell & Ms. Hyde personality everyday until we meet again.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Blog #7 What is the "truth" in this story
This story was extremely good I really enjoyed and understood what O'Brien was trying to say. O'Brien really examined story-telling through using war stories. The "truth", is how no story is genuinely told the right way. So essentially people never actually get the true story. O'Brien basically says that being that when we each see things differently when you witness something happening we automatically distort the images to I guess help ourselves wrap the event around our minds. Hence when a person recalls a story what happens is their interpretation of what occurred is tainted with what they believe occurred. and some or most of what really happened is changed or left out. O'Brien believed that people added things or removed them to make the story believable , because the truth is so unbelievable. He states how when I a person is presented with actual factual truth they tend to reject it. I so agree with that thought, I too have had similar situations. But O'Brien says if you tell that story enough times eventually the truth could possible be told.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Blog #6 The Ranking
During the course of the class thus far we have had to read a range of creative writing essays and throughout this process I have had mixed emotions about them. In terms of ranking I definitely do have an order in mind to which they would fall. On top of that list would be : "Superman & Me";"Westbury Court"; and , "My Father Always Said", those were the essays I most enjoyed and related with. For example in ," Superman & Me", when the author starts to talk about how he felt trapped growing up on that reservation. That statement alone took me back to my own childhood growing up in the projects .( that is an urban low-income housing complex) I felt the exact way watching people around me fall into the box already made for them instead of reaching for the stars. In the others essays they struck me in different eras in my life so they made go back to those places for a while. Now going in the other direction of my list there are a few that would absolutely be at the bottom they are: "Biography of a Dress";"That Men Should Not Judge"; and lastly , " Out There", these essay took me to another place of HUH, I felt they had no purpose in my eyes these examples just bored the mess of me. Maybe it was the ways these authors structured their essays,or even just the content of their essays. Either way they rank at the bottom of my list. Especially , " Biography of a dress", that particular essay almost gave me a headache for most of the read I felt like the author was talking in circles. The way the author kept reflecting back started to make me dizzy. The other two essays were just not good experiences for me.
BLOG #5 What's the point?
This week we read two essays Drummonds' ,"Alive"; and Danicats', "Westbury Court"; you ask us to define the point . In Drummond's piece I think the point was that when a person is exposed to certain situations in life be it by a job or experience like her being a police officer. She felt those experiences keep you guarded and a little paranoid even when you resign from doing that type of work. Drummond was simple explaining how she discovered that fact while doing a chore of going to the grocery store. But in the end she realized that her old job was not the reason for those feeling . She now believed that they were natural emotions everyone feels. Drummond's structure was a tad misleading because for half the story I thought she was a man, it was shocking for me to realize she was a woman.
In the case of Danicat's,"Westbury Court", that essay was based on a her reminiscing about the apartment building she lived in for a while during her childhood. She thought back to different neighbors that she & her family had. Danicat zooms in on a specific memory when one neighboring family had a fire, it was only across the hall. the tragedy in this recall was that the fire consumed the lives of two small children. That experience became a defining moment in the woman's life. The reason I say that is even as she was telling the story she related to those little boys. Even as an adult Danicat states that she asked her mother about those boys because she really couldn't remember what happened. Her structure for me was more straight forward which I could related too more.
In the case of Danicat's,"Westbury Court", that essay was based on a her reminiscing about the apartment building she lived in for a while during her childhood. She thought back to different neighbors that she & her family had. Danicat zooms in on a specific memory when one neighboring family had a fire, it was only across the hall. the tragedy in this recall was that the fire consumed the lives of two small children. That experience became a defining moment in the woman's life. The reason I say that is even as she was telling the story she related to those little boys. Even as an adult Danicat states that she asked her mother about those boys because she really couldn't remember what happened. Her structure for me was more straight forward which I could related too more.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Blog#4- My Father Always Said
In this essay the author Mimi Schwartz main point from my perspective was to illustrate the way she learned about her father. Through visiting his home village when she was thirteen. You see the little girl in the story was at that stage where teenage-parent relations seem like they were on two different plants. And she felt like her father always had something to say about everything usually referring to how he grow up. In most sections she just peeled the layers of her father apart like an onion. Just closing the gap of miscommunication with her father, this miracle was taking place while they were traveling to different places in her father's hometown village. as the time and places passed more pieces or the puzzle that used to be her father came to light. She started to see him in another in an alternate way.
Schwartz used history of a family to bridge the wedge between an American born Jew with her old world country father Jew.
Schwartz used history of a family to bridge the wedge between an American born Jew with her old world country father Jew.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Blog #3 Montaggne and Orwell
Montaigne makes a statement with his title, then builds off that subject. His style as I see it was to use historial examples in his essay to support his view on death. This style of writing can be very effective to a certain degree. Like in Montaigne's I feel he used too much history because I didn't reaaly get his point or the main idea until I was nearly done reading. But on the other hand that could have beeen his whole format.
In the story of the shooting of the elephant, Orwell used first person accounts of an event to show what I believe is a hiden meaning. That point was to really examine the relation between the European and the natives of Burma. At first I felt like the story was about a police man who hated his job ,but that was the precursor to the main plot. And then I totally saw the contrast when he got to the spot where the elephant appeared.
Both these essays are comtemporary creative writing to me, because they use other people's stories to illustrate one individual idea or experiences which is the whole purpose.
In the story of the shooting of the elephant, Orwell used first person accounts of an event to show what I believe is a hiden meaning. That point was to really examine the relation between the European and the natives of Burma. At first I felt like the story was about a police man who hated his job ,but that was the precursor to the main plot. And then I totally saw the contrast when he got to the spot where the elephant appeared.
Both these essays are comtemporary creative writing to me, because they use other people's stories to illustrate one individual idea or experiences which is the whole purpose.
Blog #2 Kinkaid and Lott
When I first started reading Kinkaid's essay , she gave me a feeling of similarities. I could totally related to her writing and how she painted a picture with every statement. It was like she couldn't continue the story unless the reader really understood or had an image in their head. As my reading progressed I realized that she had a real love of description and letting the reader hear the history of every new element she introduced. My true and initial response to her writing felt like she was going in circles then I realized that her circles had a purpose.
Kinkaid's way of creative writing was extremely descriptive like I stated I believe she was big on painting pictures for the readers. She showed me that putting images in readers also help to deliver the message or bring your story across.
In Lott's discussion he basically just supported my own definition of creative non-fiction . His definition was that creative non-fiction comes from each individual point of view or life experiences. That there is no wrong or right definition. His view is that we create our own defintion and build from there. Lott said people need to take responsibilty for their own perspection of (cnf). Long as it comes with the truth . He also raised questioned that with the definition being self defined we do have certain responsibilities to make sure we answer for and to our lives. I guess he was talking about howa balance needs to be there. Meaning aslong as your not always the hero or the victim your accounts shound be accurate.
Kinkaid's way of creative writing was extremely descriptive like I stated I believe she was big on painting pictures for the readers. She showed me that putting images in readers also help to deliver the message or bring your story across.
In Lott's discussion he basically just supported my own definition of creative non-fiction . His definition was that creative non-fiction comes from each individual point of view or life experiences. That there is no wrong or right definition. His view is that we create our own defintion and build from there. Lott said people need to take responsibilty for their own perspection of (cnf). Long as it comes with the truth . He also raised questioned that with the definition being self defined we do have certain responsibilities to make sure we answer for and to our lives. I guess he was talking about howa balance needs to be there. Meaning aslong as your not always the hero or the victim your accounts shound be accurate.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Blog #1
What is my definition of cnf?
The way I view creative writing is free expression, sharing adventures and ideas that sometimes go thru peoples head. Its an avenue I've used personally through out my life. Its a way we share fantasies or life stories. Creative wrting to me is a taking somebody on a trip with you in your life thru your eyes.
The way I view creative writing is free expression, sharing adventures and ideas that sometimes go thru peoples head. Its an avenue I've used personally through out my life. Its a way we share fantasies or life stories. Creative wrting to me is a taking somebody on a trip with you in your life thru your eyes.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
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