A Window

Have you ever had something that whenever you seen it the anger monster in your head would be calmed. Whenever you seen it the pure company of it took you to a relaxing place. Whenever life seemed unbearable that thing helped you see hope. While I have had an object like that for the most part of my life, it’s never been exactly the same you see it comes in many shapes and sizes its home is in millions of places and in every place it has a different meaning, a different purpose. But its purpose for me as always was the same. It’s given me dreams, questions, answers, basically created the determined mind I have today, shaped the inquisitive attitude people love to endure. That thing in which I am talking about has a usually square-like shape even though I have met round ones, and rectangular ones, even triangular ones , but for the most part it’s been square. It has transparent eyes that you see right through help you picture options and maintain a view into what going on around you, yet some people cannot see, it show pathways to different places and opportunities, it gives warning to unexpected guests. It gives solitude when you need to think or focus on a solution for a problem.
Yes the object I am talking about is a window. As I child I grew up in what most people refer to as the projects, technique named housing complex. These places were brick and cement tiny apartment building with about three floors some having four with three to four apartment on a floor. It had super thin walls but nice big windows. And the one I lived in was close to the highway which I could see from my window. There were many times where I looked out that window and wondered where the cars I saw were from or even where there were going. How I so wanted to go with them to see other places others things besides nosey neighbors and ignorant little boys which was what I felt like I was surrounded with. For the most part my bedroom window was my crystal ball it helped me see into the future.
One day in 1990 the year my baby sister was born, it was about the spring time because I had class the day after the event happened and it was the day she came home from the hospital I was told to clean up the house cause the new baby was coming home. Now most kids would be upset that a new sibling was on the way into their space, but I was excited to have another person to mold into my liking especially because it didn’t work with the other heffer I had to call my sister. But here’s my chance to fix my previous mistakes. Any way I cleaned from the time I got home from school until about 10 minutes before they came in the door. In which time I planted myself at the living room window filled with my mother’s I am jungle garden so I could see them come up the porch stairs, I was tired but still excited; I’d cleaned up my mother’s room so that she and the baby would be comfortable. But when my aunt saw what I did I got yelled at.” Why did you touch this and why did you touch that”, she said “I had everything where it needed to be” She went and told my mother what happened and my mother told her to leave me alone. “She tried”, my mother said so I next went and washed my hands so I could hold my baby-sister. I went back into my mother’s room sat myself firmly in a chair and looked at my aunt to hand me my baby sister, she said ,” what you think your waiting for, your too young to hold the baby now go do some homework or something”. I stood in my mother’s door way puzzled at first because before my aunt went to pick up the pair she promised me that I if I cleaned the way my mother likes it she would make sure I could hold the baby. You see in my family only adult family members are allowed to hold newborns unless or until the infant is three months old, so pre-teen I, holding the baby was a big deal. Anyway I was crashed that my aunt went back on her word so I went in my bedroom to cry. After a few minutes of boo-whoin on my bed I got up and went to my window I must have saw about a thousand cars that night and which I tried to count different state license plates that little game I played with myself distracted me from my initial problem it calmed me down to a point that was able to suck it up and still help my mother with the difficult first night home