After reading the different techniques on revising your essay it was one category that I felt could best serve the purpose I wanted to do. The technique I gravitated too is the one we used in class which was Revision:Beyond the Frame. We did the first exercise in class and the second exercise got me thinking , it fit right into what I wanted to do with my essay. The second exercise is adding elements to my essay which is what I was doing. Here's a list of the elements I will add in no particular order:
1. introduce my concept better
2. talk more about the reasons for the arguments against the clubs
3. describe how the clubs work
4. add two stories on days I worked my first day, and a special day
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